Friends: Reincarnated

I have been on God's green earth long enough to have witnessed a few patterns in life (which I'm very thankful for!).  One thing that amuses me very much is when I meet someone who is juuuuust like someone else I've already had the (sometimes dis-)pleasure to know. 

In my work, this comes in very handy, especially in dealing with the more difficult personalities.  It is very efficient to identify the pattern of person X and remember how I dealt with person Y, apply what worked, avoid what didn't, and get through the project with as few stress-driven pimples as possible.

Sometimes though, this recycling of personalities is a good thing!  Where I might not have had the opportunity to really enjoy a relationship in my youth (for many reasons, including me being a punk little kid, too insecure, off in another part of the state, etc.), it is so nice to get a second chance. 

To expand on the insecurities of a typical teenaged girl a bit... I used to know a girl, let's call her Annie Smirkband.  In my 13 year old eyes, Annie had it ALL.  Not just cool clothes, but also: the best hair & personality, a gorgeous home, a loving family, great taste in music, a sense of fun & adventure, and probably much more.  I wanted to be her in the worst way.  We were friends for a time, but I was so intimidated by her I questioned my own self-worth enough to annoy her out of wanting to hang out with me.  In truth, I questioned my self-worth so much I let myself be intimidated by her.  How I managed to keep any friends, I still don't get (thanks for sticking it out, Hol! ;-).  Anyhoodles, eventually I got to a place where I wasn't awful to be around, but invites to hang out and do things were put on hold for a few years, and extremely limited after that.

Fast forward to about 2010.  God put a recycled friend into my life.  She is so.very.much.like Annie.  I immediately got the same feelings of inadequacy.  But this time, a lot of experience helped me to squash them before I let them really bubble to the surface.  Something to be said about being a grown woman who knows her worth (and got there a not-so-easy way).  This time, I enjoy her company.  I love joining her on adventures.  Our children are friends.  I contribute to her and enrich her life too.  It's exactly how it should be--this recycled friendship.  Recently, we were at an event where maybe a bit of liquid courage was consumed and I blurted out to her, "You are my Annie Smirkband, but so much better!"  She was all, "Huh?  WHAT are you talking about?"  I just smiled and hugged her and told her I loved her.  And then told myself I loved me too.

Maybe recycled friends in our lives are do-overs from God?  A chance to play it out a better way.  So glad I get to do the Annie friendship over, even if it's with another person.  The lesson realized, learned and implemented feels even sweeter the second time.